Read it at your own risk!
There is no confidence. It reflects in the way I am walking, talking. Its all visible in my eyes, my face is puffed up with stress, i have forgotten smiling. I look my worst, the ugliest, the weakest that can faint anytime. I am unable to understand when people talk to me.
There is no coordination of senses, the nervous system is not as responsive. Often, while driving I fail to notice the Red signal lights. It is like a torture, mental torture!!
It's 1 million times worse than physical torture. I sleep at night but mind never sleeps, it is alert and awake. It hurts all the time and after a while you stop noticing the pain as you get used to it.
How can you expect me to work, forget work. How can you expect me to live like this? This is a vitual end of life. The world looks lifeless. I feel so isolated, insulated from happiness. HAppiness just hovers on the surface the insulation doesnot let it seep in to the heart.
There can be a cure to physical pain but what do I do for the heart ache, How do I explain it when heart starts to bleed, it bleeds endlessly, contracts and aches. There is no cure for this pain. They say time will heal. But time doesnot pass, days refuse to pass, nights eat me away creating more wounds. Whats the cure? Distances are not helping...distnces are actually increasing the longing, and longing is making the LOVE deeper...things are becoming worse...every thing is upside down.
I never felt like this before. I have become a slave to someone. My life is in some one else's control. I am not responsible for all this. It is all written. They say the ways of karma are unfathomable, very strange they are! Friends become enemies and enemies become friends!! Controlling all these from happening is beyond our actions.
These words will not mean anything to you. You will not even get a slightest idea of the pain I am talking about. But for sure these are the fruits of past karma, must be from previous life times. I donot remember hurting anyone in this life time. But dont worry, even in pain there are blessings.
This is more than mother's love for her baby. A mother never hurt her child irrespective of how much the child hurts the mother. Then how can i hurt you? I love you and care for you more than a mother does. Dont forget this. You can do what ever you want to do. You cannot change this. You can not stop me from praying, giving blessings. This one month was like several lifetimes and is enough for me to realise your worth and how much you mean to me and how life would be without you?
I wish you get well soon and start living again. I wish you open up your arms, open up your heart to life, give a chance to life again, embrace the love that comes your way and not disgrace it. Start living again! Please!
Whatever happens happens for a reason! Brick walls are there for a reason. they help us show how badly we need some thing:)
There is no confidence. It reflects in the way I am walking, talking. Its all visible in my eyes, my face is puffed up with stress, i have forgotten smiling. I look my worst, the ugliest, the weakest that can faint anytime. I am unable to understand when people talk to me.
There is no coordination of senses, the nervous system is not as responsive. Often, while driving I fail to notice the Red signal lights. It is like a torture, mental torture!!
It's 1 million times worse than physical torture. I sleep at night but mind never sleeps, it is alert and awake. It hurts all the time and after a while you stop noticing the pain as you get used to it.
How can you expect me to work, forget work. How can you expect me to live like this? This is a vitual end of life. The world looks lifeless. I feel so isolated, insulated from happiness. HAppiness just hovers on the surface the insulation doesnot let it seep in to the heart.
There can be a cure to physical pain but what do I do for the heart ache, How do I explain it when heart starts to bleed, it bleeds endlessly, contracts and aches. There is no cure for this pain. They say time will heal. But time doesnot pass, days refuse to pass, nights eat me away creating more wounds. Whats the cure? Distances are not helping...distnces are actually increasing the longing, and longing is making the LOVE deeper...things are becoming worse...every thing is upside down.
I never felt like this before. I have become a slave to someone. My life is in some one else's control. I am not responsible for all this. It is all written. They say the ways of karma are unfathomable, very strange they are! Friends become enemies and enemies become friends!! Controlling all these from happening is beyond our actions.
These words will not mean anything to you. You will not even get a slightest idea of the pain I am talking about. But for sure these are the fruits of past karma, must be from previous life times. I donot remember hurting anyone in this life time. But dont worry, even in pain there are blessings.
This is more than mother's love for her baby. A mother never hurt her child irrespective of how much the child hurts the mother. Then how can i hurt you? I love you and care for you more than a mother does. Dont forget this. You can do what ever you want to do. You cannot change this. You can not stop me from praying, giving blessings. This one month was like several lifetimes and is enough for me to realise your worth and how much you mean to me and how life would be without you?
I wish you get well soon and start living again. I wish you open up your arms, open up your heart to life, give a chance to life again, embrace the love that comes your way and not disgrace it. Start living again! Please!
Whatever happens happens for a reason! Brick walls are there for a reason. they help us show how badly we need some thing:)
